The Churlish Snow

The Department of Transportation’s least-favorite fairy has come to visit–the snow fairy. She has brought her sub-freezing temperatures and ill-prepared midwestern drivers, all with a sprinkle of panic, resulting in a temporarily short bread supply in the neighborhood supermarkets.

Since the snow fairy came to visit recently, I’ve been thinking about the cliché phrase,virgin snow. I have a few problems with this metaphor, but my main beef is that it’s simply overused.

What if the snow I’m looking at isn’t so untouched and pristine? How would that change the traditional narrative? Certainly, there is a laugh or two to be had at this phrase’s expense.

I’ve written an antithesis to the phrase virgin snow:

This was not, as some poets would have you think, virgin snow. This snow had slept in dirty hovels and had been trampled upon and befouled by dogs. This snow had seen it all–this slut of a snow drift had laid itself out to the world in white brilliance, only to backslide into the yellowed slush and trampled mounds of its own self-loathing. It couldn’t melt fast enough, in my opinion.

I smacked my feet on the threshold of my warm home, releasing myself from a few snow balls who just didn’t know how to Let it Go.

I hope you enjoyed my cheeky snow scene, and, I hope that others dealing with the churlish winter snow will stay safe and well. Stay warm, and drink some chamomile tea, won’t you?

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